Even divorcing parents who believe they have negotiated a fair child custody agreement given their work obligations and other circumstances generally want to take every opportunity available to spend more time with their child.
To that end, including a “right of first refusal” (sometimes called “first right of refusal”) provision in your parenting plan can give you chances for added parenting time if your co-parent would otherwise have to call in a caregiver during their designated parenting time.
How does right of first refusal work?
Typically, this kind of provision states that if a parent needs someone else to care for their child during their scheduled parenting time, they need to reach out to their co-parent before arranging for third-party child care.
For example, say your ex has to go into work on a Saturday to deal with a crisis when the child is scheduled to be with them. Before they call a family member or babysitter, they would need to find out if you can take the child for the day.
What specifics should be in the provision?
It helps to include some specifics in the provision. For example:
- How soon after a parent learns they need a caregiver do they have to notify their co-parent, and by what methods (text, phone call, parenting app, etc?)
- How much time does the co-parent have to respond?
- What estimated child care time period requires notifying the co-parent (an hour, an evening, a day)?
- Is “make-up time” or a swap required, and under what circumstances?
For example, if a parent has to go to an event and their co-parent take the child for the day, do they have to give up a day from “their” time?
Typically, this arrangement only works if co-parents live in the same area. It can be used for everything from last minute job schedule changes to planned commitments and for as little as an hour or two to a full day or more.
You might think that this kind of provision is unnecessary because you and your co-parent have a good relationship and you assume that you’d always reach out to one another first. However, things change. You may hit rough patches in your co-parenting relationship.
You may want to at least be given the opportunity to spend more time with your child regardless of how amicable your co-parenting relationship is or is not as your situation evolves. With sound legal guidance, you can negotiate a right of first refusal provision that helps protect your right to care for your child whenever possible accordingly.